Baby Brona...

Just got back from the MISS Conference...I will post more later about that. But, I met a mom, dad and the spirit of a tiny little baby boy, that I just can't stop thinking about. His name is Brona. And I wanted to share their video with you...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJVU4XTNjzA

Summer Girls Tour 2008

Natalie and her neighbor McKenna did a little summer girls tour. You know, garage bands, minus the bands. Who needs bands when you have electronics? Just thought you'd like to see them in concert. The live show was incredible.

Natalie sings "Nobody's Perfect" - http://lvhghlf.com/mandnshow/natalie_nobody.html

Natalie sings "Sights Set on You" http://www.lvhghlf.com/mandnshow/natalie_sightset.html

McKenna and Nat sing "Good Morning Baltimore(Evergreen!) and

Our Song" http://www.lvhghlf.com/mandnshow/mckennanatalie_goodmorning.html

Poor baby deer...

THIS IS NOT THE ACTUAL DEER...

I AM JUST ADDING A PICTURE OF A MULE DEER

AND HER FAWN...

So, last week, Natalie and I are driving back home from dropping the kids off at school in the morning. We take the back roads and they sometimes get pretty winding...We are coming around a curve, and there is one truck, and one car in front of us. Well, the truck hits a baby deer. By the time Nat and I get there (she saw the whole thing) the baby is struggling to get to its feet after being knocked into the ditch. Natalie just starts bawling. I didn't know what to do, so I just kept driving. Like any normal person would, right? Well, we get about a half of a mile down the road, and Nat is still hysterical. I pulled over on a side road, (mind you, I have NO phone reception) turned around and started driving back to the deer. Natalie can't start her day and go to school like this, I am thinking. We get back to the deer, I pull over, turn around again and park in a lot. I can see the deer, but Nat can't. It is laying down. Sometimes, it picks up its little head, and looks around. I now have phone reception and start calling local vets. None are open this early. I then called Animal Control. Explained what happened, told them the deer was still alive, could they get somebody out here to help it? Sure they said. I told them where it was, they said somebody would be on their way.

I explained all of this to Natalie, somebody was going to come help the baby deer. Everything would be ok. And that because we called Animal Control, the little deer was going to live. About 5 times that day, she asked me what I thought the baby deer was doing? I told her that they probably had it in a big kennel with warm blankets and lots of food. That it probably had a cast on one or both legs. And that it was sleeping alot. The warm blankets and lots of food really comforted her.

So the next day we are driving the kids to school. She is all ready to look out the window and see if the deer was really gone...Fortunately, I knew where we were, where the deer got hit and really doubted that they got the deer in time. And damn, I was right. I could see ahead into the ditch where the little deer was still laying, this time stiff and bloated. Poor thing. I quickly said to Natalie, "LOOK AT THE GIANT ELK" and pointed in the opposite direction. (of course she missed it-the elk) but knew we passed the spot where the deer was hit. She asked me if it was still there, and I said no. She had a grin from ear to ear. "Mom, we really saved a baby deer..." Now, I had to distract her on the way back. Again and again, for four days! I did it though.

Finally, this morning when taking the kids to school again, the only thing marking the deers final resting place was a large orange cone...And again, Natalie was looking. This time I let her look. "He really is gone, mom. Do you think he is better yet?"

Poor thing. I feel sad for it's mommy...I wonder if she knows what happened...if she knows her baby is dead, if she is grieving her loss, or looking frantically in the woods, calling out for her little one. Even writing about a tiny baby deer, brings saddness flooding back to me. I sit here writing about a mommy deer and the loss of her baby, and I feel such sorrow, not only for her, but also for me.

Introducing my new Chase...

Handsome, huh???

Hair today, gone today...

Chase, September 13th, @12:44pm
Chase, September 13th, @12:46pm
Chase, September 13th, @ 1:05pm
Chase's hair, September 13th, @ 1:12pm
Chase, September 13th, @1:15pm

Yes, he had decided to cut his hair. Mike and I did not make him, only encouraged him. He and his friend Cole, decided they wanted to buzz cut their hair. I suggested that they go to the salon, where Mike and I get our hair cut, (and Chase) and let Courtney (the stylist) do what ever she wanted to their head. Then, if they didn't like it, they could buzz it all off. Fortunately, they both liked their styles. No buzz...

Child #2 in Orthodontics...

Natalie has officially began Phase I for her orthodontic treatment. Oh yeah...thrill...Apparently the orthodontist thinks her mouth is too small. (guess he doesn't know her too well...) Her left top side needs to be pushed out to overlap her bottoms. You can see what I am talking about in the bottom image. Her top teeth center doesn't match her bottom center teeth. So, right now she will be getting an expander for her top teeth. Then in about 6 months she will receive braces on the top to move the teeth back together and get everything in alignment. Then she will go on a retainer, after the braces are removed. Hopefully with this early intervention, she will not need braces when she is older. But, you never know...

Getting ready to drive...

Drive a car, drive me crazy, drive me into an early grave...I am talking about Chase. The day will soon be upon us. Chase will turn 15 on October 22nd. I have started looking into driving schools for him. The best program that I have found here is Master Drive. I don't think it is just enough for Mike and I to teach him to drive. I really want him to have more...and it is not cheap. He can start taking the classroom instructions 30 days before he turns 15, then he can get his permit and start driving with Mike and I. He also takes a defensive driving course, which I find amazing, then he starts logging freeway and road time...So, my little boy is growing up. We have already started talking about buying him a car. Nothing fancy. I had wanted him to take my Toyota, which is still a possibility, but Mike and Chase both say it's a girl car. IS NOT!

Prayer request...

I just received this email from a reader of my blog. I am sending out this prayer request to her and her family, and to the lady that is receiving her kidney. This is such an incredible sacrifice that she is making for this woman. When I was donating my kidney, one woman from my bible study group said to me that I was laying my life down to give life to another. At the time, it didn't feel that way, but now looking back, I can understand what she was saying.

So, Ailey Ellis, you are in my prayers. I ask that God protect you and keep you safe. May the gift you are giving to your 'friend' be successful, and may you both have a long and healthy life.

You should feel very good about what you are doing. I still have no regrets...Blessings, Cheryl

"My sister forwarded your link to me. I am giving my kidney to a woman who goes to church with me. Our only connection is that our kids sang in the Christmas choir together. She is very worried about me and I think your story helped her understand how I feel through your words. God bless you! Pray for us on our surgery on Sept. 16. Blessings to your family and to Lauries."
Ailey Ellis

Turning 41...

Anna, Nat and Chase
Me and my girls...
The Great Wall of Chocolate...
The destruction of the Great wall of Chocolate...
Chase (yes he needs another haircut...) Me, Baxter, Nat, Anna and my beautiful Jeter dog...

What an incredible day I had...I was able to spend this day with my beautiful children, Chase, Anna and Natalie. Maddux was very close to my heart today, thinking about the 'should have beens.' Of course, he should have been in the middle of it all. Daddy is traveling in Canada still, but he and I had our own little celebration last weekend...



The day started with me being able to sleep in until 10am. Not one child woke me up...of course, we were all sleeping, but still amazing...As soon as Chase said good morning to me, he said "So how does it feel to be one more year closer to death?" I swear that kid is so witty. He makes me laugh...The kids then helped with picking up the house. The girls and I were planning on a manicure, and when we got there, they decided they didn't want one, and let me enjoy one on my own. Then, we went to Bel mar Plaza and enjoyed an early dinner at PF Chang's, one of my favorite restaurants. Chase had the Orange Chicken, Anna had the NY Strip Steak and I had the Sea Bass...Nat got the extra plate, and enjoyed the best of all three worlds. Then, yes, the Great Wall of Chocolate. Yum! The evening was topped off with a movie, The Dark Knight...Of course Chase had already seen this movie twice, but us girls hadn't and he was more that willing to sit through it again. (tops his favorites this summer.) Then home. Oh, don't tell anyone, but Chase even held my hand in the movie, for 5 minutes, but hey...those were 5 BEAUTIFUL minutes...Now off to bed.


So, how do I feel, one more year closer to death? I am enjoying growing older. I truly am. I enjoy watching my children grow older. I enjoy watching them become who they are becoming. I so enjoy being their mom. Their friend. I have such a different relationship with each one of them. Of course, they are all different ages, different personalities. My relationship with Chase has really blossomed into a friendship. He is starting to learn how to drive. He is always asking me to let him drive on the side roads. And I let him. We are still in the beginning stages of this driving thing, but the excitement in his eyes, is awesome! He is not your typical teenage boy. He is so much more incredible! Do I still want to choke the life out of him sometimes, yes. ~ Anna, is starting to mature. I am amazed at our conversations. How she confides in me, how she shares herself with me. Does she have an attitude at times? Yep, we renamed it an ANNATUDE. Natalie...(NATITUDE) well I am still her 'mommy.' She always has to be near me...but she is also such an independent little girl.

I don't cook very often...

But when I do...yummy...Mike always jabs at me because I never cook (I told him to put a stove top in my car...maybe I would have the chance to cook more...) So I wanted to take a picture and date it, so next time he's jabbing me, I can pull this up, and say: "But Dear, I just cooked you a full meal...not too long ago. "

Anna and Natalie had a filet...

Anna did a sweet potato with grilled asparagas and red peppers,

and Nat a regular potato with all the fixings...

Mom and dad had a NY Strip, with grilled asparagas, potato and a portebello mushroom...
Dad and Anna enjoying...

Tonights meal is baby back ribs, baked beans, corn on the cob, macaroni salad and sweet rolls. Brownies for dessert...

Beautiful colors...

Colorado has got to be the most beautiful place on earth. I swear. To walk out your back door, and see this painted in the sky...

Thank you Linda...

When the girls and I were at Linda's home meeting baby Mason for the first time, she had made brownies in her Pampered Chef stone. I LOVE these stones. I commented on her cookie sheet, and said, "I'm going to have to get that one. I have the deep rectangular one, the round pizza stone, pie shell stone and a larger deep dish round one.
Guess what came in the mail for my birthday? Yep...Thank you again Linda. I will use this one lots and lots...

(with my speeding ticket, and now my cookie sheet, doesn't it look like I should be a gameshow product bimbo...)

Guess...

who got a speeding ticket today? And then guess who isn't very happy? 42 in a 25! I can't remember the last time I got a ticket...For those of you who drive with me often, I know, you are wondering 'how can that be...?' I do have a lead foot...Oh, and to make matters worse...Chase was with me...He said..."Don't worry about it mom... One ticket in 14 years ain't bad. I will probably be getting alot of those..." Yeah...As if!

Thoughts...AND the turmoil of change...

I am sitting here today doing some work with NILMDTS and thinking about my children. One thing that has hit close to home with me is my son Chase. Chase will be 15 in October. This year Mike and I have decided put him in a new highschool (D'EVELYN) down the hill. I have tried to lottery Chase in this school for the past two years, and finally this year, his number was called. And because his number was called, Anna is sibling priority. So she has started 7th grade at D'Evelyn also. (she is doing great) This school was ranked number one last year for their ACT tests...Is Chase struggling? Yes, he is. Not scholastically, but socially. He misses his friends. I have told him that he will make new friends, while keeping his old friends. His education is so important to Mike and myself. This is the one gift we can give him. We care about his education. We want to give him the best we can. This is a gift that can't be thrown away. Does Chase understand this? No, honestly he doesn't. Is life getting better for him? Yes it is. Will he look back one day, and say, 'Thanks Mom and Dad for the gift of education?' God, I hope so! LOL! Last night he bet me $10.00 that he wouldn't. I told him in four years, I would take that bet! And his money, with interest!

http://www.usnews.com/articles/education/high-schools/2007/11/29/gold-medal-schools.html US NEWs ranked D'Evelyn highschool number 62 in the US!

http://www.tonymassey.com/what-are-the-best-schools-in-colorado

Parker Colorado Tornado...

I had to post this image here. This photograph was taken by a NILMDTS Affiliated Photographer, Tommy Han. Yesterday in Parker Colorado, this tornado actually touched down. Fortunately, nobody was injured. How cool is this photograph? Tommy, you are crazy...

By the way...

I am a McCain Fan...

Here we go...

I am so glad that I live nowhere close to Downtown Denver or the airport...

Words from a bereaved mommy, Beth Kumar...

My hat is off to Beth for the emotion and power of her words. Don't underestimate a bereaved mom. Don't underestimate our feelings. And NEVER underestimate the love we have for our child...So much of what she writes, I feel everyday. I will never be able to experience another pregnancy, and I mourn that also. Probably something you never thought about...

From Beth:
I'm posting this here because I think this is something I would love to say to some people in my life, and probably wont have the guts. Perhaps someone will read it and be able do deal with a still grieving parent. I know hate is a strong word; I do not hate the people in my life that are treating me this way. I love them, which is why it hurts even more - why their actions and words are that much more hateful to me.

I am NOT over it. I still hurt. I'm sometimes still angry. I still miss her ever day. I still cry. I still ache. I still yearn. I still dream. I still wish for her back. I AM STILL HER MOTHER. I still mourn and grieve. I hate that you assume that she's out of my mind just because another baby is in my body. I hate that you assume I have moved on. I hate that you think I've "recovered" from my loss. I hate that you have stopped acknowledging her because there's a "new" one on the way. While I can look forward to another baby, I will ALWAYS have a hole in my heart, my life, where Kavya should have been. Another baby cannot fill that hole - don't assume it; I don't expect it...I don't WANT her or him to fill that hole. This baby is new to me; it does nothing to erase the pain of missing my Kavya. I might be able to better handle my grief, to hide it better, to understand it better, to live with it...but it is still there. It will never leave me, no matter how many children I have to love in my arms, there will always be one that I hold and love in my heart. She will never be in my past. She is now and always will be because my love did not die with her - my LOVE will always be "now". I truly believe that the more people you have to love, the greater your capacity to love. I can mourn and love my Kavya and celebrate my new baby simultaneously. This one does not exclude or erase the one that came before - my precious Kavya. I hate that you think it or for even thinking I do...

Anna wants to go to France and Italy...

By HERSELF, with her French Class! In June of 2009! Can you believe that? She is going to HAVE to find a man that makes a good (great) living when she grows up. Mike is always telling her that it is just as easy to love a man with money, as it is to love a man without money.

To Gardasil or Not To Gardasil?

My friend Gina just forwarded me this link: http://www.usnews.com/blogs/on-women/2008/7/2/is-hpv-vaccine-to-blame-for-a-teens-paralysis.html

Funny, this is sent to me today, because I have three doses of this sitting in my refrigerator, for my 12 year old daughter. I had just been thinking about this today. Do I give it to her or not? I had these same questions about 13 years ago when they came out with the chickenpox vaccine. Do I give this to Chase and Anna, or not. I choose NOT to. They both came down with the pox, and both did fine. No complications, no scars. When Natalie started preschool in Colorado, what, 4 years ago, the chickenpox vaccine was required to get in. By this time, with my research, I did deem this vaccine safe for her. No complications. I understand she will need a booster when she is older.

But this Gardasil? I really have to question this...At this time, I have decided that I will NOT vaccinate my daughter with this.