Words from a bereaved mommy, Beth Kumar...

My hat is off to Beth for the emotion and power of her words. Don't underestimate a bereaved mom. Don't underestimate our feelings. And NEVER underestimate the love we have for our child...So much of what she writes, I feel everyday. I will never be able to experience another pregnancy, and I mourn that also. Probably something you never thought about...

From Beth:
I'm posting this here because I think this is something I would love to say to some people in my life, and probably wont have the guts. Perhaps someone will read it and be able do deal with a still grieving parent. I know hate is a strong word; I do not hate the people in my life that are treating me this way. I love them, which is why it hurts even more - why their actions and words are that much more hateful to me.

I am NOT over it. I still hurt. I'm sometimes still angry. I still miss her ever day. I still cry. I still ache. I still yearn. I still dream. I still wish for her back. I AM STILL HER MOTHER. I still mourn and grieve. I hate that you assume that she's out of my mind just because another baby is in my body. I hate that you assume I have moved on. I hate that you think I've "recovered" from my loss. I hate that you have stopped acknowledging her because there's a "new" one on the way. While I can look forward to another baby, I will ALWAYS have a hole in my heart, my life, where Kavya should have been. Another baby cannot fill that hole - don't assume it; I don't expect it...I don't WANT her or him to fill that hole. This baby is new to me; it does nothing to erase the pain of missing my Kavya. I might be able to better handle my grief, to hide it better, to understand it better, to live with it...but it is still there. It will never leave me, no matter how many children I have to love in my arms, there will always be one that I hold and love in my heart. She will never be in my past. She is now and always will be because my love did not die with her - my LOVE will always be "now". I truly believe that the more people you have to love, the greater your capacity to love. I can mourn and love my Kavya and celebrate my new baby simultaneously. This one does not exclude or erase the one that came before - my precious Kavya. I hate that you think it or for even thinking I do...