Broke My Heart:This is an image of Baylee Almon and firefighter Chris Fields. A police officer had handed Baylee to him from the rubble of the Alfred P. Murray Building in Oklahoma on April 19, 1995. What alot of people don't know, is that the firefighter removed his rough gloves before cradling Baylee in his arms. This image was hard for me, because Chase at the time was only 6 months older than Baylee. I remember the day this happened, standing in the kitchen of our home in Olathe, Kansas, feeding my son.
This photo was taken by Charles Porter, who was an amateur photographer. Did you know that he developed his images at Walmart? AND, his friends encouraged him to take the image to the media.
My prayers tonight will be with Baylee and her family. I will never forget...
I am going to do something a little different. My memories are filled with images. Images that have special meaning to me. (If you know me, you don't have to guess at one of my favorites...) I want to share with you some others that have had an impact on my life. I want you to do it too, and I want you to share your blog address in the comments. It will be really interesting to see the images that have had an impact on your lives also... I have added the link to my side bar so it will be easier to find, instead of scrolling through the posts...
Awe Me: This was taken by Lennart Nilsson. I remember when I first found out I was pregnant with Chase, I was at a book store, buying What To Expect...and I came across the book A Child Is Born. I was in such awe...still am, at the images he captured. I still have this book, and wore it out with each child, just trying to imagine what they looked like. If you have never seen it, check it out!
How many times have I thought this question to myself? Life after the death of Maddux, will never be the same. I literally have one foot in this world, and the other foot with Maddux. Is this normal for a mother with living children, and deceased children? I think it is. Heck, You bet it is!
I came across this recently, and thought it was very interesting...
Is it possible to literally die of a broken heart?
In the last few years, researchers at Brown University, Johns Hopkins University, and elsewhere have begun keeping track of people whose hearts have stopped - or almost stopped - after intense emotional or physical stress, a problem Japanese researchers began noticing in the 1990s.
In America, it's called "broken heart syndrome" or "stress cardiomyopathy." In Japan, it's "Takotsubo cardiomyopathy." That's because "takotsubo" is the name of a pot used to trap octopus, and in these cases, the heart walls squeeze together abnormally, taking on the shape of this pot.
"The heart muscle becomes weak after sudden stress," said Dr. Ilan Wittstein, a cardiologist at Johns Hopkins, probably because of the sudden flood of stress hormones - adrenalin and noradrenalin - causing the heart to become "stunned . . the heart is unprepared for the large surge of adrenalin."
In rare cases, broken heart syndrome can be fatal, said Dr. Richard Regnante, a cardiologist at Brown University.
But if a patient makes it through the first 48 hours - often in the intensive care unit - prognosis is excellent, with complete recovery of heart muscle function in two to three weeks, said Wittstein.
The key, for doctors, is to figure out whether a person who has just suffered a terrible stress - like suddenly losing a loved one or having a major medical trauma like a stroke or a severe flare-up of asthma or even major surgery - is having a heart attack or stress cardiomyopathy. Once doctors know to look for them, the differences are clear. In a heart attack, heart muscle cells are permanently killed. Heart attack patients also typically have blockages in the arteries supplying the heart; people with broken heart syndrome - the vast majority of whom are postmenopausal women - do not.
No one knows why postmenopausal women are at greater risk. But it could be because men who have severe emotional or physical stress may actually have real heart attacks under those circumstances.
So, if you have had a severe emotional or physical shock and then develop chest pain, shortness of breath, lightheadedness, and low blood pressure, call 911 and get to the hospital immediately. Ninety-nine percent of the time, a real heart attack is probably in progress. Even if it's "only" broken heart syndrome, immediate treatment is necessary.
A microscopic image of a foxtail weed. See the barbs on the stalk? The barbs get on your pet's fur, and then any movement from your pet can cause these barbs to move further into your pets fur, and eventually enter the skin. These barbs can travel within the body, and have been known to enter vital organs, spinal column and can cause death.
They really are kind of beautiful, with the sunlight hitting them...
Don't let them fool you...
Standard herbicides that are used to control Foxtail
These are images of Baxter's throat. Chase noticed the large lump on him Thursday afternoon. I started freaking out, because it is known for Bernese Mountain Dogs to get a certain kind of cancer called LymphoSarcomas. I called the vet early Friday am, and told them what was going on, told them what I thought it was, and he told me not to jump ahead and think the worst...he then mentioned the Foxtail weed, and asked to see Baxter right away. He poked the large lump (which then was a little larger than the size of a tennis ball) with a needle, and got blood and pus from it. This was good. He then said that Baxter would have to go under general anesthesia and have immediate surgery for the abscess and infection caused most likely by the ingestion of a seed by a foxtail weed. I had never heard of this happening before. So, I am sending a warning to all pet owners that live in areas where this 'foxtail' grows. Keep your pets out of meadows and fields where this weed grows, pull them from your yard immediately! Brush your pet's fur after a walk in infested areas. DON'T let them eat this grassy weed!
And my name is Maddux. I live in heaven now. I was born February 4th, 2005, and I died on February 10th, 2005. My family misses me very much. Ask about me sometime, and see how my mommy's eyes light up.
NILMDTS video of Maddux
Christmas Photo - 2007
In Honor of Maddux:
The mention of my child’s name
may bring tears to my eyes,
but it never fails to bring
music to my ears.
If you really are my friend,
please don’t keep me
from hearing this beautiful music:
It soothes my broken heart
and fills my soul with love.
Finding my new normal:
Like the butterfly, I have the strength and the hope to believe. And in time, I will emerge from my cocoon... Transformed.