Get together...

Here we have Josh and Darjee, Brona's mom and dad...Summer, Noah's mom...Sheila, Cheyenne's mom...myself...Charlene, Daniel's mom...and Linda, Ethan's mom.

Natalie and Anna fought over who got to take care of baby Mason.  As you can see, Natalie won this battle...
Darjee stringing Brona's ornament.

Group shot!

Had a get together with some NILMDTS parents on Saturday at my home.  This is the second year we have done this.  We had some yummy treats and made an ornament for our babies to hang on the Christmas Tree.  I truly cherish each and every friendship I have with these families.  Thank you all for such a lovely time.  

Guess who I met tonight?

Jerry Jenkins...writer of the Left Behind series.  How ironic is this?  I started reading the series for the third time...I even had my book on me and got his autograph.  I thought it was pretty cool...

He signed with Luke 1:45

"And blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what had been spoken to her by the Lord."

Which will bring me to my next topic...tomorrow.

Thinking about my life today...

I was thinking about life yesterday and today, my life...how it wasn't supposed to turn out this way.  Things should be so different...I should be chasing a toddler around the house...I saw the cutest triceratops at Costco, and thought, "I should be buying that for Maddux this Christmas." I feel like such an old soul...Chasing Maddux would have kept me younger...at least at heart.  I shouldn't have so much gray hair...I shouldn't be so stressed out all the time...I shouldn't clench my teeth every second...I shouldn't know that so many babies can die... I shouldn't feel 'proud' that Mike and I have held our marriage together in the aftermath of the death of a child...Seriously, how many couples want to add that to their list of accomplishments?...Last night I am on eBay looking at the book Sleeping Beauty Memorial Photography, thinking to myself, I WANT THIS BOOK...just not the price tag that comes with it...my husband looked at me like I was crazy and had lost my mind... Then today I am thinking, 'My life may not have turned out like I had planned or thought it should be, but I have ended up where I was needed and intended to be..'  Beautiful! 

Maddux's name in the sand...

Photoshop corrected...

I was never going to say a word about his name being misspelled, the thought was the kindness gift.  Today I open my email again, this time from an affilited NILMDTS photograper in Oregon, who saw his name in the sand, knew it was misspelled, and then did some photoshop magic for me.  Again, another gift in itself...Thanks Amy.

Original..

I sat down at my computer today...opened my email, and this is what I find.  A gift from a stranger, telling me that she was thinking about Maddux.  How beautiful is this?  My heart has been touched, by a simple gesture from a woman, thinking about my son.  There is  beauty in this world...

Girls...

What is with these pouty faces now adays???

Giving Thanks...

This year we spent Thanksgiving with the Haralsons.  This has become a tradition.  We spend Thanksgiving with them, they spend Christmas Eve with us...I truly give thanks for my friend Ali and her husband Tony.  They are family to me.

my homemade pumpkin pie...

my homemade pecan pie...three attempts later...still yummy.

Jacob and Ami
All the kiddos...around the table.
Mike and myself
Ali and Tony...If I could choose a sister, she would be it!

Taking the girls to Twilight...

On the opening day...Friday November 21st. I have never seen anything like this. Lines , lines and more lines. Screaming girls everywhere you looked. Sold out theaters...Fortunately, we older women were wise enough to purchase our tickets in advance and get to the theater early...Anna and Kylee...Anna says she has Edward eyes in this picture...
Katie and Natalie
Kylee and Anna modeling their T's
Super Models...

The Premier of TWILIGHT...

Oh, if I was only 17 again...
Here we are at the midnight premier of the movie Twilight. Yes, I said midnight. Call us crazy? No, only obsessed...

My FB Sister...Ali and myself.

Ami and Kelly

I saw my friends Helen and Erin at the premier. They were with us the night Maddux died.

Shelly, me, Kelly, Ali and Ami at the White Chocolate Grill, yes sitting on the bar...

Ali and I in our Twilight T-shirts...

Our cheer buddies...

I have been waiting a year for this day!!!

How cute are these girls...

Natalie and Katie...
Anna and Kylee...

Nat and Anna with girls from her old cheer team, now with Cheer Central...

First Cheer Competition of the season...

Anna center...

Anna shaking some bootie...

Anna in her kick double...

Anna center...

Anna center...

Toasting the KIDNEY...

Two years ago today...I gave away a kidney. Thanks Ali, for the toast, and remembering.

My night...

Watching Natalie make a mess with dumplings...

Still watching Natalie make a mess...

Chicken and Dumplings...

Natalie getting her bootie stuck in my office trashcan...I mean really stuck...

Pulling Natalies Bootie out of the trashcan...priceless...

Interview with Univision Television

Bumping this to the top. The segment was beautiful. One of the best we have ever had done. I want to share this with you. I don't know how to speak spanish, even tho, you can still understand the language of love. Beautiful piece. http://www.kcectv.com/noticias.php?cat=noticias

10/21/08

Had an amazing interview today with Univision Television. I am so happy to see this happening, and the word about NILMDTS reaching everybody. You know, the death of a child can happen to anyone of us, as most of us here already know. The death of a child does not discriminate. Race, Religion, Rich or Poor, none of that matters. I know I used to think that 'this' could never happen to ME! Seriously, I am in excellent health, no family history, three previous healthy pregnancy's, three healthy older children. Not ME!!! Boy, was I wrong. Death hit me, and death hit me hard. And if 'it' can happen to me, my gosh, 'it' can happen to anyone. Sorry, but it is true.

But here I am today. And what a beautiful day it was. One thing I talked about was my grief. Does it ever get any easier? What about time? Does time truly heal all wounds?

No, I don't think my grief has gotten any easier. Or that time has healed my wounds. I just think that over time, I have gotten stronger. Strong enough to carry my grief.

A friend sent me the image above, and I so think it is appropriate. Thanks for listening...

It's Coming...November 21st.

Do you have your tickets? I have mine!

Cheer Central Suns Showoff...

Anna is middle

Nat is second from your right on top...(hand on keyboard

Well, I want to 'show off' my daughters...

New School Mug Shots 2008

Natalie Anne Haggard

3rd Grade

Anna Pauline Haggard

7th Grade

Chase Emerson Haggard

9th Grade

(Pre Haircut...)