Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Monday, February 1, 2010
Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.
Maddux Achilles HaggardFebruary 4th, 2005-February, 10th, 2005
February is an incredibly stressful month for me. I wanted to write this note earlier than later this week, due to an already full schedule for me this week. February 4th, marks the 5th anniversary for the birth of my son, Maddux. If life had gone according to my plans, I would have a little boy celebrating his 5th birthday. He would be an official "Big Boy." His birthday would have been centered around Avatar, a movie he would have probably seen 10 times or more by now. I'm sure he would have figured out how to turn himself blue, too. (something Chase or Natalie would have helped him with...) Would he still be playing T-Ball or would he be starting coach-pitch baseball this spring? I know his daddy would be coaching, and his big brother Chase would be helping. He definitely would be the lead batter... I know he would not be in cheerleading, (his daddy definitely put his foot down on that one...)maybe a tumbling class or two and definitely NOT be playing Lacrosse...maybe he would have liked football? He would be having his preschool graduation in a few months. 2010 would mark his entry into kindergarten. This fact alone, would excite me, because that would mean, no more preschool payments. But this fact, would also make me the saddest. Because it would mean that my little boy was growing up. Starting school. There would be a new emptiness to my day. What would I do without him............
These are things I will never know, but things that always run through my mind. I call them the 'what-if's.' When you lose a child, especially a young child, (Maddux was 6 days old when he died...) you don't forget. I have hit every milestone with him, like I have with my living children. You just can't see it. I have vivid details in my mind. I can tell you that his baby picture looked like Natalie, but I can tell you right now, that he has dark hair and looks more like Anna. He is very athletic, and stockier than Chase or Natalie. He is gentle and kind, just like his big brother and sisters. And, yes, he and Natalie fight! Chase is very protective of him (must be a brotherly thing) ...and Anna just watches, glad that it isn't her. But seriously, they would have all made wonderful big brother and sisters. Especially Natalie...(when Maddux wasn't tormenting her...)
I can tell you that I am a different person, than who I was before he was born. And a totally different person again, after he died. I am a different wife, a different mother and a different friend. A different human being entirely! I know what is important to me, and what isn't. I know the meaning of having true friends...friends that are with you for the journey, no matter how long or how rough it might be. And if we are friends, we are both blessed!
I can't believe it has been 5 years. Sometimes it feels like such a long time ago, and my memories are dim and fuzzy. And then there are days that is seems like yesterday, and the pain is so fresh and raw. There is no set time frame for my grieving. There is no order in which I grieve.
Something beautiful was created from Maddux's death...and if you don't know what it is, please visit http://www.nowlaymedowntosleep.org For the first two years, all my time and energy was focused on creating this organization. This was my outlet for my grief. Some of the most beautiful things in this world are created from the broken hearts of others. This organization has grown beyond my expectations. Now with nearly 8000 photographers in over 27 countries...It is humbling and honoring at the same time.
Happy 5th Heavenly Birthday, Maddux...Mommy misses you.
These are things I will never know, but things that always run through my mind. I call them the 'what-if's.' When you lose a child, especially a young child, (Maddux was 6 days old when he died...) you don't forget. I have hit every milestone with him, like I have with my living children. You just can't see it. I have vivid details in my mind. I can tell you that his baby picture looked like Natalie, but I can tell you right now, that he has dark hair and looks more like Anna. He is very athletic, and stockier than Chase or Natalie. He is gentle and kind, just like his big brother and sisters. And, yes, he and Natalie fight! Chase is very protective of him (must be a brotherly thing) ...and Anna just watches, glad that it isn't her. But seriously, they would have all made wonderful big brother and sisters. Especially Natalie...(when Maddux wasn't tormenting her...)
I can tell you that I am a different person, than who I was before he was born. And a totally different person again, after he died. I am a different wife, a different mother and a different friend. A different human being entirely! I know what is important to me, and what isn't. I know the meaning of having true friends...friends that are with you for the journey, no matter how long or how rough it might be. And if we are friends, we are both blessed!
I can't believe it has been 5 years. Sometimes it feels like such a long time ago, and my memories are dim and fuzzy. And then there are days that is seems like yesterday, and the pain is so fresh and raw. There is no set time frame for my grieving. There is no order in which I grieve.
Something beautiful was created from Maddux's death...and if you don't know what it is, please visit http://www.nowlaymedowntos
Happy 5th Heavenly Birthday, Maddux...Mommy misses you.
Go SUNS!
Palm Springs, CA Feb 6th-7thDallas, TX Feb 18th-22nd
Anaheim, CA April 8th-12th
Myrtle Beach, SC ???
Orlando, FL ???
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Just a reminder...
Colorado Cell Phone / Text Messaging LawEffective - 12/1/2009
House Bill 1094 Prohibits operators of a motor vehicle who are under 18 years of age from
using a wireless telephone while a motor vehicle they are operating is in motion.
The new driving law will prohibit persons who are 18 years of age and older from using a wireless telephone to send text messages while operating a motor vehicle.
To be cited for these offenses an officer of the law must
"See" the driver engaging in the prohibited action.
Directly from the State of Colorado
" Motor vehicle safety and operation. House Bill 09-1094 imposes new statutory restrictions regarding the use of a cellular phone device while operating a motor vehicle.
For drivers 18 years of age and older, wireless telephones may not be used for text messaging or other similar forms of manual data entry or transmission.
Drivers under 18 years of age may not use wireless telephones for any purpose. Exceptions are provided for persons using a phone during an emergency or to contact a public safety entity.
Violations of this law are punishable by a class A traffic infraction and a $50 fine.
Subsequent violations incur a class A traffic infraction and a $100 fine.
The bill takes effect on December 1, 2009."
Monday, December 14, 2009
Cheer Central Suns WSA
Looking at the photograph, Natalie is 3rd flyer.
1st flyer
Middle flyerYouth Level 4
Grand Champions!
Friday, November 27, 2009
February Stars by The Foo Fighters
I'm hanging on
Here until I'm gone
I'm right where I belong
Just hanging on
Verse 1
Even though
I watched you come and go
How was I to know
You'd steal the show
One day I'll have enough to gamble
Ill wait to hear your final call
And bet it all
I'm hanging on
Here until I'm gone
I'm right where I belong
Just hanging on
Verse 2
Even though
Passed this time alone
Somewhere so unknown
It heals the soul
You'll ask for walls I'll build them higher
We'll lie in shadows of them all
I'd stand but they're much too tall
And I fall
FEBRUARY STARS!
FLOATING IN THE DARK!
TEMPORARY SCARS!
FEBRUARY STARS!
I'm right where I belong
Just hanging on
Verse 1
Even though
I watched you come and go
How was I to know
You'd steal the show
One day I'll have enough to gamble
Ill wait to hear your final call
And bet it all
I'm hanging on
Here until I'm gone
I'm right where I belong
Just hanging on
Verse 2
Even though
Passed this time alone
Somewhere so unknown
It heals the soul
You'll ask for walls I'll build them higher
We'll lie in shadows of them all
I'd stand but they're much too tall
And I fall
FEBRUARY STARS!
FLOATING IN THE DARK!
TEMPORARY SCARS!
FEBRUARY STARS!
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Friday, November 20, 2009
SEXUALLY VIOLENT PREDATOR-COLORADO
SVP
BULLETIN
The Jefferson County Sheriff’s Office is releasing the following pursuant to Colorado Revised Statutes 16-13-901 through 16-13-905, which authorize law enforcement agencies to inform the public of a sex offender’s release when the offender has been determined to be a sexually violent predator. The purpose of this notification is to enhance public safety and protection.
The individual depicted in this notification has been convicted in Colorado as a sex offender who must register with law enforcement. He has been determined to present a high potential to re-offend and is therefore subject to community notification regarding his living in your community.
The Jefferson County Sheriff’s Office has no legal authority to prohibit sex offenders from living in our community. Sex offenders have always lived in our communities, but they were not required to notify law enforcement until registration laws were implemented.
Sexually Violent Predator
NAME: Larry Ivan Finell
AGE: 66
AKA: Larry Finell
DESC: White male, 6’1”, 218, blue eyes, gray hair
TATTOOS: None
GLASSES: Yes
ADDRESS: 11953 West Stanford Drive, Morrison
OCCUPATION: Unknown
VEHICLE: Unknown
CONVICTION: Attempted sex assault on a child (felony) 2007 & sex assault on a child (felony) 1988
OFFENSE PATTERNS: Sex assault on children
OTHER CRIMINAL CONVICTIONS: Unknown
There are about 10,100 sex offenders registered in Colorado, including about 300 in unincorporated Jefferson County. The Sheriff’s Office is available to provide information regarding sexual assault and personal safety. The Rape Assistance Program (303) 322-7273 is available to make referrals to other local resources to help those who have been impacted by sexual assault or this notification process. If you have information regarding criminal activity by Schreiber or any other offender, please call 911 or (303) 271-0211.
For more information on sexual offenses, sexually violent predators, and personal safety tips, please visit our Web site at www.jeffcosheriff.com.
BULLETIN
The Jefferson County Sheriff’s Office is releasing the following pursuant to Colorado Revised Statutes 16-13-901 through 16-13-905, which authorize law enforcement agencies to inform the public of a sex offender’s release when the offender has been determined to be a sexually violent predator. The purpose of this notification is to enhance public safety and protection.
The individual depicted in this notification has been convicted in Colorado as a sex offender who must register with law enforcement. He has been determined to present a high potential to re-offend and is therefore subject to community notification regarding his living in your community.
The Jefferson County Sheriff’s Office has no legal authority to prohibit sex offenders from living in our community. Sex offenders have always lived in our communities, but they were not required to notify law enforcement until registration laws were implemented.
Sexually Violent Predator
NAME: Larry Ivan Finell
AGE: 66
AKA: Larry Finell
DESC: White male, 6’1”, 218, blue eyes, gray hair
TATTOOS: None
GLASSES: Yes
ADDRESS: 11953 West Stanford Drive, Morrison
OCCUPATION: Unknown
VEHICLE: Unknown
CONVICTION: Attempted sex assault on a child (felony) 2007 & sex assault on a child (felony) 1988
OFFENSE PATTERNS: Sex assault on children
OTHER CRIMINAL CONVICTIONS: Unknown
There are about 10,100 sex offenders registered in Colorado, including about 300 in unincorporated Jefferson County. The Sheriff’s Office is available to provide information regarding sexual assault and personal safety. The Rape Assistance Program (303) 322-7273 is available to make referrals to other local resources to help those who have been impacted by sexual assault or this notification process. If you have information regarding criminal activity by Schreiber or any other offender, please call 911 or (303) 271-0211.
For more information on sexual offenses, sexually violent predators, and personal safety tips, please visit our Web site at www.jeffcosheriff.com.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
So Proud...
I am alittle behind in my posts. This was given in September. Near the beginning of school.
Way to go Girl! Mom and Dad are sooooo proud of you!
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Stuff Christians Like
Today I just sat down at my computer, and my heart was heavy longing to have a little 4 year old boy running around my feet. Oh, how different my life would be...in so many ways! During times like this, it never fails that I receive a message from somebody, telling me about how their life was changed because of Maddux. I just wanted to share this message I received from Wendy Maybury today.
"Okay Cheryl, you have to hang with me for a second, because this is a little long...
Yesterday my friend Jon Acuff (he lives next door to my Mom and Dad) funded a $30,000 kindergarten in Vietnam in 18 hours.
He has a website with a lot of visitors.. (it's kind of a big deal..) www.firstgiving.com/SCL
He was inspired to do this because I built a well this year in Africa.
I did this because I wanted to do something proactive to help children, (and 4,500 kids die ever day from dirty water...)
I wanted to help children because of volunteering with nilmdts... it was leaving me a lot heartbroken because I couldn't do anything to save the babies I was photographing...
I volunteered with nilmdts because it existed only because of one little guy, Maddux.
So because of him, the whole nilmdts amazing work happened, 250 in Africa will have clean water when the well is finished, 260 kids got a school yesterday and now he's working on a second school today. (another 250 kids.)
I am so awestruck with the way that good moves... like ripples from a stone thrown in a pond.
I know you would rather hold Maddux and watch him grow. I thought you would be proud to hear of more good in the world he inspired."
Warmly,
Wendy
Thanks for letting me share another part of my son with you....Cheryl
"Okay Cheryl, you have to hang with me for a second, because this is a little long...
Yesterday my friend Jon Acuff (he lives next door to my Mom and Dad) funded a $30,000 kindergarten in Vietnam in 18 hours.
He has a website with a lot of visitors.. (it's kind of a big deal..) www.firstgiving.com/SCL
He was inspired to do this because I built a well this year in Africa.
I did this because I wanted to do something proactive to help children, (and 4,500 kids die ever day from dirty water...)
I wanted to help children because of volunteering with nilmdts... it was leaving me a lot heartbroken because I couldn't do anything to save the babies I was photographing...
I volunteered with nilmdts because it existed only because of one little guy, Maddux.
So because of him, the whole nilmdts amazing work happened, 250 in Africa will have clean water when the well is finished, 260 kids got a school yesterday and now he's working on a second school today. (another 250 kids.)
I am so awestruck with the way that good moves... like ripples from a stone thrown in a pond.
I know you would rather hold Maddux and watch him grow. I thought you would be proud to hear of more good in the world he inspired."
Warmly,
Wendy
Thanks for letting me share another part of my son with you....Cheryl
Thursday, November 5, 2009
November 5th-on his own!
Don't see anybody else in that car, except Chase...My sleepless nights have started all over again!
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Just Breathe by Pearl Jam
Just Breathe
Lyrics
(you can play on the bottom of my playlist)
Lyrics
(you can play on the bottom of my playlist)
Yes I understand that every life must end, aw huh,..
As we sit alone, I know someday we must go, aw huh,..
I’m a lucky man to count on both hands
The ones I love,..
Some folks just have one,
Others they got none, aw huh,..
Stay with me,..
Let’s just breathe.
Practiced are my sins,
Never gonna let me win, aw huh,..
Under everything, just another human being, aw huh,..
Yeh, I don’t wanna hurt, there’s so much in this world
To make me bleed.
Stay with me,..
You’re all I see.
Did I say that I need you?
Did I say that I want you?
Oh, if I didn’t now I’m a fool you see,..
No one knows this more than me.
As I come clean.
I wonder everyday
as I look upon your face, aw huh,..
Everything you gave
And nothing you would take, aw huh,..
Nothing you would take,..
Everything you gave.
Did I say that I need you?
Oh, Did I say that I want you?
Oh, if I didn’t now I’m a fool you see,..
No one know this more than me.
As I come clean.
Nothing you would take,..
everything you gave.
Hold me till I die,..
Meet you on the other side.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Friday, October 23, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
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