Sunday, June 14, 2009


I have stayed away from the computer and news this weekend for a reason.  Then I started thinking more about the story Beccah wrote, and when I finally started reading 'up' on the situation again, I started writing, and the further I got into, realized, that the term "story" just didn't sit well with on...

This story/lie of Beccah, continues to disgust me.  All the Pro Lifers, and the Pro Choicers, spewing forth their opinions.  Turning this into some Godly warfare...This story/lie is NOT about that.  It is not about our choice of religion either.  It is about ONE WOMAN, that invented (lied about) a pregnancy about a little girl, whom she called, April Rose.  A  story/lie about a little girl that was diagnosed in the womb with a condition, that may not have been compatible with life.  It was a STORY/LIE told by a woman, who in this story/lie, CHOOSE to carry this baby to term.  She sought out the support and took advantage of bereaved moms that have walked this journey.  She told a story/lie about being a Christian, and sought out the support from those, who got down on their knees and prayed for her and her unborn child.  Why are people commenting and saying that 'they' deserved to get scammed. Because 'they' sympathized with her and knew the pain she was suffering?   Because 'they' tried to carry some of the "pain" for her???  Because of their religious beliefs? Nobody deserves to be scammed, or lied to.  

I can't say I am pro choice...I can't say that I am pro life.  I can tell you a true story about a wife and mother of three that became pregnant a fourth time.  I can tell you that in the 18th week of  her pregnancy, the alpha fetal protein test came back abnormal.  This wife and mother then decided to have further testing done, and had an amniocentesis.  I can tell you that at one time, this mother and wife would have considered aborting her child if these tests showed something terribly wrong.  I can then go on to say that the amniocentesis and level III ultrasounds all came back normal, and she continued into her pregnancy.  On February 4th, 2005 a beautiful little boy named Maddux was born.  And something was terribly wrong.  This family prayed, and even asked for prayers for their son's healing.  Then, on the 6th day of this little boy's young life, his mommy and daddy disconnected his breathing tube, and he died quietly in the arms of his mother.  This mother and father, had never felt this kind of pain before.  You can't explain it, and unless you have experienced it, you can't feel it.  I'm sure the mother thought that only death... her death, would make the pain stop.    I remember this mother waking up and the sun would be shining, birds would be singing, the world went on without her...she was living in a pit of darkness...a sort of hell, you might say.

Maybe you know the story of this little boy, and maybe you don't.  

Maybe you are a parent that has lost a baby girl or baby boy, and have beautiful images of them.  Maybe, when you look at their image, you see and you feel some sort of hope.  Maybe because of this gift, you have climbed a half of an inch towards the light in that dark pit.   

Something beautiful came from the birth and death of this little boy.  It is called Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep.  Now, for a second, imagine the other side...What if Maddux had never been born?  

Do I believe that God had a hand in my pregnancy with Maddux?  I believe that God has a hand in all pregnancies.  I also believe that God gave us a mind, in which we are to make choices.  My choice may not be your choice, but your choice may not be my choice.  But we both call it the same...a choice.  I also don't want your judgement upon me...I will get mine in due time.

I shake my head, reading some of the things that people have wrote, and wonder 'how can they "say" that?  Seriously, some might consider going back and reading what they have written before they hit the submit button.  

Now, please let me finish by saying this:  Maddux may have been the reason NILMDTS was created, but he is not the reason for the organizations growth and 'success' (for lack of a better term)...That is because of each and every baby story that is posted on the NILMDTS site, other organizational sites and personal blog sites...and the selflessness of the 7,500 volunteer photographers that make up this organization.  Not to forget, the incredible office staff that runs the day to day operations...Thank you.

I don't ever think we will know all the answers as to why this lady Beccah, did what she did...I personally think the deceit is so large, she probably doesn't know either.  


Linda said...

AMEN! Let's stop reading about the lies and focus on the STORIES that God created! The stories of hope and healing that have come from photographs. The stories of people who reach out to those whose hearts are so deeply broken they feel like they would rather die than feel this pain. Those people who reach down when your in the deepest darkest place in your life and lend that hand!

Anonymous said...

I sort of dropped by here the first time as part of the April Rose "expose", which I have been so disgusted with but have to make myself stop reading about. It is so hard for me to imagine someone doing this to women who have been through what we have been through.

But then this time, I was going through my history and I just found myself going back to your site - so I think I must want to make this comment. For the countless women whom you bless and help begin to heal, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. (I will try to finish this without the tears flowing) My own baby girl was stillborn in January of 2004, one year before you began your organization. I can't tell you how many times I have wished that the timing had been different - how many times I have longed for your pictures. I run a pregnancy and infancy loss group now, and I am always so happy for a woman who gave birth at a hospital who knew to call you all. For all of us, even those of us who didn't get to use you, thank you. I can't imagine what it takes to do what you all do, in the middle of the night, in the middle of families, in the middle of such emotion. As I know you know, we appreciate it more than I can say.

Eva said...

Nothing to say just wanted to send some virtual Hugs and to thank you for what you do.

Angela Donaldson Photography said...

HUGS Cheryl I read this post and one before I am an in shock just like you. Im so glad I didnt hear of the lie/story until it was done. I know as a mother in pain through this horrible experience my heart woud have gone out to her.