I wouldn't be...

I have a precious photograph
Classic and timeless in it's style
Of time spent with my baby,
who lives in Heaven now.
It shows a little boy,
who is loved so very much
Even death can't stop the feeling
of longing for his touch.

"You should be over it by now,"
you might think or say to me...
But still I have his photograph

Valued more than all the world's wealth.
I wouldn't be who I am without it.

Without it, I simply wouldn't be.

Cheryl Haggard

About Chase...

Mom had some homework this weekend...Had to write about my son Chase to his teachers.
I wanted to share this with you:

CHASE EMERSON HAGGARD

Chase was born in California October 22, 1993 to Michael and Cheryl Haggard. He was our first born. Chase has two younger sisters, Anna 11 and Natalie 7, and a younger brother, Maddux who was born in 2005 and died at the age of 6 days. Our family moved from Florida to Colorado in 2003. We wanted to make the move before Chase started middle school. He left many close friends in Florida, which he still sees every summer and spring break.

Our son Chase, truly has a beautiful soul. He has a good heart and is respectful to his elders and friends. He is very talented with a computer, loves to read and is an exceptional baseball player. We are encouraging him to learn Spanish, so he may speak it fluently one day and teach his mother.

Chase does enjoy school. Chase is a good student, and makes good grades. We both think that EMS is too easy for him. We don’t think that he applies himself 100%. We basically think he does enough to ‘get by,’ with A’s and B’s. He never seems to come home with any homework, telling us that he finished it all in school. We have never had a teacher complain about him or his work.

We believe Chase’s strong points in school are reading, and writing. He has an incredible and very active imagination. If we had to pick a weakness, maybe Science, but he has never expressed trouble or dislike with any subject. Chase is not shy about asking questions, but might not seek help if he has trouble understanding something, especially if it has already been taught and demonstrated. I think that this part of him would try to figure it out himself, instead of making himself look unfavorable in the eyes of a teacher.

We are very proud to have Chase as our son. He has never done anything to disappoint us or cause us heartache. Through his actions, we are judged as parents. As far as accomplishments, what can we say? He is 13 years old. We hope that one day the world sees us, through him.

Anna Banana

I am starting to take some of my film images and scan them to hard copy...

Here is one I ran across of my sweet Anna...How cute is she? She was just alittle over 2years and one month old in this photo...

Nat got a new hair-do...

From this...

to this...

Recruiting for a sister in law...

Greg.

Ok, had to add this picture for Jacquelyn.

She has the right to see the man I am trying to set her up with.

This is more her choice...

See how he loves his neices and nephew?

The Diva, Jacquelyn and the Princess...

(sounds like a book...)

This is Jacquelyn...She cuts, styles, and sometimes colors the Princess and the Diva's hair...

I am trying to recruit her as a sister in law... Really, seriously lets think about this. She LOVES my kids...She is incredibly nice and has a wonderful personality. She seems to love life, and I'm sure she knows how to have fun. I like her...So what more could a brother ask for?

Angel Love

Angel Love

We are connected, my child and I,

by an invisible love, not seen by the eye.

It's not like a love, that connects us 'til death do us part,

this love does it's work, right from the start.

I know that it's there, although no one can see,

this invisible love linked from my child to me.

The strength of this love is hard to describe,

it can't be destroyed, it can't be denied.

It's stronger than any love man could create.

It withstands the test of all time and can bear any weight.

Though you are gone and not here with me,

The love is still there, only I can see.

It pulls at my heart. I am bruised. I am sore.

But this love is my lifeline as never before.

I am thankful that God connected us this way.

A mother and her child...Noone can ever take that away

Don't tell me that you understand:

Don't tell me that you understand, don't tell me that you know.
Don't tell me that I will survive, how I will surely grow.
Don't tell me this is just a test, that I am truly blessed.
That I am chosen for the task, apart from all the rest.
Don't come to me for answers, that can only come from me.
Don't tell me how my grief will pass, that I will soon be free.
Don't stand in pious judgment of the bonds I must untie.
Don't tell me how to grieve, don't tell me when to cry.
My life is filled with selfishness, my pain is all I see.
But I need you and your love...Unconditionally.
Accept me in my ups and downs, I need someone to share.
Just hold my hand and let me cry, and say, "My friend, I care."
~Author Unknown~

Through the eyes of a child:

Just playing around and having some fun...

Dances with Wolves...I mean Elk.

Here are some wonderful beasts that frequent our front yard.

Not to fear, from past years I have learned NEVER to plant anything expensive in my yard. The Elk just eat it. So, now I only feed them weeds...

Titanic Exhibit at the Denver Museum

If you know me at all, you know that one of my favorite movies is Titanic. I can watch this movie over and over...So when I found out that artifacts from the Titanic were going to be at the Denver Museum, I had to go. It was really interesting. What was really cool...When you entered the exibit, you received a boarding pass. This boarding pass had information on it about a real passenger boarding Titanic. At the end you were able to see if your person survived.

I was Mrs. John G. Sage (Annie Elizabeth Cazaly) (44) from Peterborough, England. My husband and our nine children (oldest being 20 and the youngest was 4) were traveling to Jacksonville Florida, in pursuit of a better life. My husband, John, purchased a pecan orchard there. Well, sad story is, we were traveling 3rd class. None of us survived. My family was the largest lost (in numbers of family members) on the Titanic. Really sad, huh?

Natalie was Miss Annie J. "Nina" Harper (6) 2nd Class-Survived
Chase was the Reverend John Harper (Nina's father) - Died
Anna was Miss Jean Gertrude Hippach (16) 1st class - Survived. She was traveling Europe with her mother trying to recover from the death of two brothers in the Chicago Iroquois Theater fire.

I really found this educational not only to my kids, but myself as well, by giving us these boarding pass of actual people aboard the Titanic. Please read the links above about the passengers on the Titanic.

Visit with my friend Mary from KC

My friend Mary and her son, Tyler, made an unexpected visit to our home in Colorado this past week. Since we all loved white water rafting, I suggested another trip. This time we hit Clear Creek Rafting Co. in Idaho Springs, and rafted on Clear Creek...This trip was totally different that the Arkansas River. We had to wear helmets, because of the shallow water and the rocks, and it was about 60degrees outside, with a water temp of about 45...I am so glad the girls and I wore a waterproof jacket...Chase wishes he had also. We all had a blast! We got stuck in this little (I have no idea what you call it) suction 'surf'. Water was pouring into our boat, and we couldn't get out of it...I thought Anna and Natalie were going to 'flip' out. Luckily our guide, got us out of the suction, and we went merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily life is but a dream...

Weekend Get Away

The girls went to see 'Hairspray'...

Boys went to Check out Jessica Biel in

'I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry'

(If John doesn't win an Oscar for his role,

there is no justice in this world...)
View from above
Getting ready to cross the Royal Gorge...
View from the 'other side' looking at the bridge

Our guide 'Flip' and the family

The husband and I were able to take the kiddos on a short weekend trip. Stayed at the Cheyenne Mountain Resort in Colorado Springs. Spent one day rafting with the company River Runners on the Arkansas River and sight seeing at the Royal Gorge.

Favorite Pix's of Chase

Previous tourney play-Note the score-We were the Visitors...
Again, hence, the funny face...

"Hollywood" I always wondered how the right toe of his shoe always wore out...

It doesn't seem like I ever have any pictures of Chase.

He usually runs from my Camera, or makes a funny face.

Here are some of my favorites from the last ball games...

Evergreen Storm Baseball

' NatGirl'
Evergreen Storm and the Lakewood Tigers
Evergreen Storm Players and Parents

Ok, I know alot of you are wondering what happened at State playoffs...

We played alot of incredible teams. The Storm made it to the Championship Game, beating Dakota Ridge to get there. Congratulations to the Lakewood Tigers for 1st Place. Congratulations to the Evergreen Storm for 2nd Place.

Score 5-4 Very Close!!!

I would like to express my disapointment with how this tournament was run. This was the STATE CHAMPIONSHIPS! It felt like just another ball game. All of these teams that made it this far paid alot of money to play in the State Championships. I would be very interested in knowing where this money went to. There was no hype whatsoever. Nothing was advertised. Even the concessions closed early...Most fields were not prepared. There was no backup for rained out games. Shame on them...

On an upnote: At least we had lights...

The Haggard Firecrackers...

Perfect light? Wouldn't you say?

Ever get the idea that Anna wants to be a model?
Happy Birthday Daddy...

Here is Chase trying to teach Jeter how NOT to fetch Smoke Bombs...Stupid Dog.

I like to think of us as being patriotic. I teach my children to respect the American Flag, That we are lucky to live in the United States of America. When Natalie sees a soldier at the airport, she likes to say hello and Thank you to them. We still hang our large flag on 9/11 in honor and remembrance. I teach my children about the soldiers in Iraq, and the sacrifice they and their families are making to keep us safe.

With that said, here are some images of my family, on July4th, which also happens to be my husbands birthday.

Trip to MO

Anna and Nat with my mother and one of her home grown tomatoes,

that the squirrels did not get ahold of.

Anna on her favorite tire swing...
Me with Connie and Billy
My family...I can't believe Chase is taller than me...
Greg

Bob

Planned a quick trip in less than 24hours. Got my windshield replaced, checked the oil and tires, washed my car. Did all the laundry. Put the carrier on top of the car (me and Chase) Packed, picked up the house. Loaded up the Kids, dogs, fed the cats, and we were out the door. (Friday 4:30pm) Drove from Evergreen to Kansas City, (with an overnight in Salina KS) visited with my friend Mary, and her son Tyler. Picked up Mike from the Kansas City Airport, (Sat afternoon) ate dinner at my favorite KC restaurant (Margaritas) went bowling with Mary, Tyler and my family...Got back on the road, and drove to Lake of the Ozarks, while my husband slept...Made it to my brother Greg's house. (early Sunday am) Unloaded...Had to be back on the road Thursday for State playoffs in Colorado for Chase's Baseball team starting Friday.

My mother came over the next day, fixed breakfast, showed Anna again how to fry green tomatoes (her favorite).

We were able to have a nice visit with my mother and step father, Paul. Kids loved shooting off fireworks, (no ban on them like in Colorado) My brother Greg loved shooting them off too, I got a scar on my belly to prove it...LOL! Mike, Chase and Greg were able to do some golfing. After 9 holes Chase became the desiginated driver...Kids got to go to the creek and catch crawfish and frogs. (Sadly I didn't go...darn!)

One of the highlights was getting to visit with my very good friend Connie (who was a foster mother to me for a time while I was growing up) and her husband Billy who flew in from Antigua, where they own the Mad Mongoose Bar and Grill. I haven't seen her since we both lived in Florida.

Here are some great pictures of our trip...It's true about what they say about pets and their owners...Starting to look alike. This is my brother Greg's new pet "Bob." Can't tell them apart? Greg is the one wearing sunglasses...LOL!

Sorry that we weren't able to make the rounds to everybody. This was an unplanned trip, that was pulled together very last minute. We did not have alot of time. Hopefully, we will be able to get around again this summer. I know that some of you said that you would be visiting us, soon. Hope this still stands true. (but I am not holding my breath...)

Dreams...

Dreams...

I am a mother whose baby has died.
A part of me is missing, never again to be found.
But I am still his mom, and he is still my child.

Do babies grow up in Heaven?
Yes, he does. Every night in my dreams.
First tooth, first step, splashing in his bath,
and Oh my gosh!!! He is so full of mischief!

I see a fuzzy caterpillar while walking on a trail.
"Lookie here, my son, do you see what I see?"
His tiny finger, cautiously reaching for the touch...
I see the wonder in his eyes,
hear the squeal of his voice, see the smile on his face.
I feel the pride and love in my own heart.

I sit here writing this with a lump in my throat.
Wondering what will you think?

Will you think I am crazy?
I am not! See, to me this is real.

This is not just a dream.

This is my life now. This is what is normal.

I know you can't see what I see,
nor do I ever want you to feel what I feel...
To you my baby is dead.
To you he's not real.
To you, he was just a dream.

Author: Cheryl Haggard

Family

Here is a portrait of my beautiful family.
Chase is 13, Anna just turned 11 on April 30th, Natalie is 7 and our angel Maddux is represented by the "Pooh Bear".
No need to know how old Mike and I are...